Infidelity- Sex with another guy

Now, I am in US and my gf is in Nepal. We are planning to get married after 2 years when I will go to Nepal. I used to talk hours with her through phone, chat, Skype etc and sometimes we use to talk about sex also. One day she told me that she had done one blunder mistake and that is she had sex with other guy there in Nepal. I was shocked when I heard about this. I could not believe her. How could any girl do that and even tell the one about such thing who is going to be her partner in future? It is taboo in our culture. I again asked her to make assure as I think a girl will never tell about such thing to anyone even though they had done that. So, is it possible in our country for a girl to take such big leap and even had guts to tell this thing to her partner? I think she is telling me this to know whether my love is true or not as all guys will feel reluctant to get married to such girl who had sex with other guy when their love life is still running? What should I do? Should I forgive her and get married? But this thing will keep on running in my mind. Is it acceptable?

- Rajan/ California, USA.

# Nice try to logic her statement Rajan bro, I’d say that particular statement of having sex with another guy, as she highlights it as a blunder mistake, was the biggest turn off for you. See! Now you ended up thinking and thinking, using your logical part of the brain, getting confused and indecisive, jealous, and angry. Infidelity sucks!! It just does, and it’s a tough uphill battle to win back the trust and respect, you once had for the cheater. Yup, she’s a cheater and there’s a saying ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’. It’s a direct assault on your egos and manhood. A lot of it has to do with trust.

Anyways, in your case Rajan, let’s talk about what if it’s true because if it’s not true, there is no problem at all (Dr. Teen= N/A, Hahahah), still you have to warn your girl not to play filthy pranks like this. That's not the way love should be tested. Besides, love should never be tested. Only those who don't love deeply and trust their partner try such things. And yes, it’s possible for a girl to talk like that with her someone special, everything is possible.

I do not expect you to forgive your cheating girlfriend immediately, but take some time to think of your relationship with her. Is she worth to be forgiven? Are you still in love with her deeply? If your girlfriend is remorseful of what she had done, it may not also be a bad thing to give her another chance. If she's worth it, work it out, forget the incident and never again talk about it or don’t ever use it as ammunition against her in case of any dispute in future, but if you're not sure you can trust her again, you may not be ready to continue down this road with her, and you'd be completely within your rights to walk away from the relationship. Things would have been different and you would have had to think twice before quitting with her, if you guys had been married. But hey, she’s just your girlfriend and a cheating girlfriend. So, be brave and decide. Whatever your decision will be you won’t be wrong and questionable.

Cheating is wrong and it will take a lot to earn that trust back. Okay let’s do one thing. Try to find out what degree of cheating was it. Was it planned, re-occurring and intentional? (First degree- Worst case and can’t be forgiven at all) or was it short, out of her hand, all of a sudden or due to the force of the other guy? (Second degree- Normal case- and sometimes can be forgiven depending on how much she regrets and what led to such incident)

Relationships are based upon trust and mutual respect. Love and sex are two different aspects of life but we are not dogs, are we? Wherever you feel the urge, hump in, No!! No!! No!! Some morally corrupt, sexually desperate people do it. Personally, if I were in such scenario, I would forgive and forget, forget the cheater.

-- Dr. Teen.