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Problem from Central Africa

I’m a 22 year old single, mother of one. I met a guy 2 months ago. I’m mixed and he’s white. Our cultures are totally different. I would love to get married soon but he in 10 years. But I’m sure he can change his mind about that. We started having sex a month after we met and now I’ve developed feelings for him. When I told him how I felt, he told me he liked me too but has just come out of a 3yr relationship and isn’t ready for another. So far, we've slept together 3 times and he treats me really well. He calls me all the time and tells me he likes spending time with me and is crazy about me. He is my ideal man and would marry him in a heartbeat and he loves kids and is great with my son. How can I get him to change his mind and get him to commit to me?
- Amaani/ Central africa.

# A huge thanks to Amaani for writing all the way from Central Africa. 

Very little do I know about African culture, but as far as I know, in African perspective too, marriages depend on culture & tribe and follow Matrilineal Kinship which is just the reverse compared to our Nepalese culture. When a man and a woman come together they need to work hard to get to their objectives. Since you two are from different cultures, it might become a hindrance. Also there’s always a big difference between “like” and “love”. 

If he’s not ready, there’s nothing you can do, I guess. However, loving him and expecting the same from him is under your control so, continue with it. The best way for you, Amaani, is to hope for the best and wait until he turns back to you and says, “Okay, let’s marry.” You are mature enough to understand. Don’t go on haste, HASTE OFTEN MAKES WASTE. Wait and observe, and by that time, you’ll be able to judge your feeling too as well as his. Wish you all the best.

-- Dr. Teen.


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